um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
