just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
