Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
