coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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