Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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