Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
