I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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