it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
