i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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