the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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