the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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