this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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