I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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