i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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