Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
