She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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