Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
