No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
