marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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