I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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