I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
