Im at strip club and am horny
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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