btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
