Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
