Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
