Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
