You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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