I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
