Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
