Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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