Jerry, you need to find god
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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