Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
