Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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