Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
