Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
