I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
