If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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