I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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