he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i believe in u and ur pee
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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