she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
