Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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