Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that's an acceptable place to lick
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
