He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
