"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
