I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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