just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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