ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
