Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
