she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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