STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
